R O U T I N E

I died. I died? Wait, that can't be right. I must have. That's my grandmother, she died years ago. And my grandfather. And that's my dog, Scruffy, from when I was eight. They're inside the gate and I'm out here. They're waving me over, but this is too much. I can't be dead. How the hell did this happen? The last thing I remember was the panther. I don't know what happened after that. Maybe if I start from the beginning . . . .

I remember hearing about the panther over the radio; "Be advised...," "Be on the lookout...," "three zoo workers dead!" There was no telling where it was. I was just about to get off work, fifteen minutes to go until the weekend. I could go home and barricade myself in my house with my wife and daughter until they catch they panther. No sooner had this thought crossed my mind than I got the call on the radio. I remember the call because the voice almost made me wet myself.

"Radio to Badge thirty-two."

I caught my breath, chastised myself in my mind and responded. "This is thirty-two."

"Reilly, we have a TA reported, possible injuries, on the corner of Brooks and Sheriden."

I looked at my cross streets. I was on Brooks and Stewart, only two blocks away. I reported that I was responding and , just to be safe, to send another car. I turned right and headed for Sheriden, biting my thumb knuckle. I could see the accident and, boy, was it a doozy! I saw the end of a signpost sticking out of the windshield of one car. The other car was sitting with its front tires on the first car's hood.

I pulled alongside the cars and turned on my overhead lights to warn other cars. Luckily, this was on a small side street. I radioed for a paramedic unit, possibly two. I was told that they were already on their way. There was a crowd of people just staring, but nobody doing anything useful. When I stepped out of the car, a young lady, possibly in her mid-twenties, ran up to me.

"I called it in," she yelled. "I heard it around the corner, and when I saw it I called 911 from that pay phone across the street."

An ambulance stopped on the other side of the accident. I don't remember hearing any sirens, but I'm pretty sure they must have used them. The paramedics jumped out and one yelled at me, asking how it looked or something like that.

"I just got here myself," I yelled back.

A second ambulance pulled up. They didn't say anything to me. The first guy who yelled at me said, "You better come take a look at this."

I swore to myself. I just knew it was going to be disgusting. I told the girl to stay put as my backup car pulled up. It was Carlos... no... no, no, it was... Williams, the new guy. I get those two mixed up sometimes. I waved him over and went to look at the carnage. I wasn't too far off. I don't remember exactly but I know the door went into her left side and the sign sliced into the right side of her neck. Needless to say, she was pronounced dead on the scene. Also obviously, I had a challenge keeping my cookies in place.

I saw the paramedics of the second ambulance examining the other driver. He had a few cuts, but nothing else I could see. I looked and saw Williams and Davis talking to the girl who had reported the accident. I hadn't even known there was another person in the car, but that makes sense now, Williams being new.

I looked in the male's car. The first thing I noticed was a half empty syringe on the floor under the steering wheel. The next thing I noticed was the stench of alcohol and, upon further investigation, I saw the broken bottle of Jack Daniels. I bit my thumb knuckle again and sighed heavily.

I decided to run the plates before questioning him. With very little surprise, I learned that the car was stolen. I went to the man and searched him, taking out his wallet and removing his license. It said his name was Daniel. It was suspended. I just shook my head. I checked his arms and found plenty of tracks, but one was extremely bruised and bleeding. He must have been in the process of shooting up when he hit the other car. I didn't bother searching the rest of him. I was thinking that any more needles or drugs would be confiscated in time. I needed to start questioning him.

"Let's not even get into why you ran the stop sign," I said. "I'm sure I could probably guess. But do you know how fast you'd have to be going to hit the sign hard enough to throw it through her windshield? Hell, you even launched your own car up on top of hers."

His eyes flickered at me and I knew I had to back off. I could see in his eyes, in the way that he looked at me, it was too late.

His face distorted and he started crying.

"I can't go to jail again, I just can't. I can't go back there, they'll kill me."

Williams was by my side, now. If only that damn rookie hadn't opened his mouth!

"You should have thought about that sooner. Where was that thought before you got in the car?"

Daniel flicked his eyes toward Williams. His face changed again and this time it looked sober and determined. I knew from experience that this was not a good look from someone who was not sober.

He said, "I'm not going back!"

I don't know where the knife came from but there it was, deep inside Williams. After my initial shock, I jumped out of the way, barely avoiding getting cut. I jumped to the side of the ambulance with my gun out. Underneath I saw a pair of legs coming toward me. I shot one. One of the paramedics fell in front of me and I swore again. I don't like doing that, it just happens sometimes.

I jumped up and chased after Davis, who was chasing after Daniel. I'm not sure if I apologized to the medic, but I meant to. When I think back on it now, I had heard another gunshot. Then what happened?

I ran between the houses, that I remember. Then ... the forest. Well, it's just a woods, actually, running along the highway, which was on the other side. But it's pretty dark, especially at nine thirty at night.

I couldn't see very much, I'm surprised I didn't run into a tree. I just heard footsteps in front of me. I ran by trees feeling broken branches in my path, seeing somewhat better as my eyes adjusted.

Then I heard a sound like a choke, like a cry got caught in a throat before it even started. I stopped and listened, but I didn't hear anything. So I ran again.

It wasn't long before I realized that the branches around me were smacking me in the face and breaking. They weren't broken already! I'd passed him. I turned around and walked back, keeping my eyes and ears open and trying to catch my breath. Something in front of me moved.

"I'm not going back," he said. I saw the outline of a gun in his hand as he raised his arm.

And that's when the tree grabbed him. No, not the tree, the tree's shadow! Everything's Shadow, it reached out and grabbed him and I heard it crunching his bones while he screamed. I heard the ripping and snarling and growling and screaming and I just stood there, staring but not seeing anything, listening. I couldn't even run I was so terrified.

Soon, the screaming stopped. That brought me back to my mind. I took two steps backward and tripped over a fallen branch. I looked up and saw the Shadow swirl and flick its glowing eyes at me. I don't remember getting up, but I remember running. And it chased me.

Now I realize that it was the panther that had escaped from the zoo. But at the time I just thought of it as a Shadow. That's all it was to me, a ravenous shadow. I fired a couple of shots behind me, but I knew it didn't do any good. I could still hear it running after me, gaining on me. The sound, however, was lost with the rest of the sounds: my own footsteps, the pounding of my heart, the roaring of blood through my body, the wind rushing in my ears, my heavy breathing, and the traffic from the highway in front of me.

I stopped inches from an eighteen-wheeler. I saw another coming out of the corner of my eye, and another one after that. I turned around to see the panther in mid-air in front of me. I only got a chance to fire one shot and I think it hit him in the gut. That didn't stop him, though. He smashed into me, teeth sinking into my shoulder, though I think that was just from the momentum. That same momentum knocked me to my back and I hit my head on the cement. The panther looked at me, teeth still in my shoulder, but didn't move except for his stomach, the one breath he took. then something hit me from the side, whether it was my head or waist or both, I don't know. I don't know if I really felt it, either. Hmmm....

So, here I am. Dead!

"Well, Shadow, how do we get through the gate?"