G R O U P
SCENE 2
__CAST__
Jeff
Phil
Teach
Dan
Mike
Jenny
(int. - different group therapy office)
JEFF
hi, my name is jeff and i'm addicted to solitaire
ALL (except JEFF and PHIL)
HI JEFF
JEFF
it started like last summer or something when i broke my leg playing football. my friends all tried to help me pass the time'cause i couldn't go outside or nothin', well, i mean, i could go outside, i just couldn't play no more, ya know? anyway, i thought it was so cool, and i couldn't win at it, so i tried to keep playing it and that's when it happened...
TEACH
that's when what happened, jeff?
JEFF
that's when my leg healed, but i didn't want to go outside anymore, i just wanted to beat that damn game, it was like an obsession, i had to beat it...
MIKE
that's how it usually starts, man.
JEFF
uh, yeh, thanks... anyway, i beat it finally, and it was such a good feeling that i had to do it again. and again. and again and again andagainandagain until finally . . . my friends didn't want to hang out with me anymore. but i didn't care, i had my deck of cards and i kept playing. as long as i had my deck of unbeaten cards i was fine!
DAN
haven't we heard this before?
JENNY
oh shut up dan, all you ever do is complain
MIKE
and yes, dan, we have heard this before... from you, remember?
DAN
shut up mike, nobody asked you
MIKE
you shut up danielle
DAN
i told you not to call me danielle, didn't i? my name is daniel - dan!
MIKE
oh sorry, danielle, i forgot.
JENNY
danielledanielledanielle
DAN
would you two shut up
JEFF
oh no, not again
TEACH
listen, you two, i've had just about enough of you... well, all three of ya's
MIKE
what about phil, why ain't you had enough of him?
TEACH
because phil never speaks
DAN
because he's a frickin' mute!
JENNY
so what? there's nothing wrong with being mute, it's a handicap, he can't help it, leave him alone.
TEACH
would all of you just shuttup?
DAN
why don't you come over here and make us, "Teach"
TEACH
i shouldn't need to, you little rat
DAN
ooohh.... she called me a rat! well, Teach is gettin' rough, what a man!
TEACH
i am a woman, thank you, and if you don't shut up, i'll knock your block off!
DAN
do i have a block on me?
JENNY
oh dan, why don't you dry up and then jump in a river
TEACH
i don't recall asking for your editorial, ms. america!
JENNY
oh yeh, Teach? well, i thnk i've had about enough of you, too
PHIL
people, can't we all just get along?
ALL (except PHIL and JEFF)
SHUTTUP PHIL!
JENNY
phil?
MIKE
hey! phil talked
PHIL
i always could, you just thought i was mute at the beginning because i TOLD you i was mute, you freaks! i'm sick of listening to you all
DAN
and we're sick of listening to you, phil
PHIL
shuttup, dan, you never even heard me speak, you idjit!
DAN
oh really?! well..... that's beside the point!
JENNY
oh shuttup dan, you freak
DAN
stop calling me a freak, jennifer, you freak
JENNY
i am not a freak, freak
MIKE
nobody's a freak, now shuttup and let's get on with the meeting
DAN
you'd like that, wouldn't ya, mike? just forget everything.
JENNY
yeh, like nobody ever was pissed because YOU are always the one doin' it!
MIKE
doin' what?
JENNY
er... you know
MIKE
no, i don't know, you ho bag, what do i do?
JENNY
Teach! he called me a ho bag
TEACH
so what? you are a ho bag!
DAN
Teach! gettin' rough now! gonna whoop some ass, Teach?
TEACH
yeh, i'm gonna whoop your's! try this!
(TEACH reaches in her purse and pulls out a gun)
ALL (except TEACH)
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JENNY
Teach, put the gun away...
PHIL
you don't need to that Teach, it's ok
MIKE
everything will work out like clockwork, Teach
TEACH
shuttup! all of you, you little pigs! you're all little pigs, all of you!
DAN
not me, i'm a horse!
(TEACH shoots DAN)
JENNY
AAAHHHHH!!!!! you shot him, you freak! she shot dan
MIKE
cool! that was awesome.
JENNY
oh my god, the world is dying
TEACH
no, just you, you little freak
JENNY
i am not a freak
MIKE
yes you are
JENNY
no i'm not stop calling me a freak
TEACH
but you are a freak
JENNY
no i'm not, you're the one with the gun and shootin' everybody
MIKE
stopit you freak
PHIL
would all of you stopit
MIKE
oh look who's talking now, it's the mute
JENNY
stopit you asshole
MIKE
no, i'm not going to, you little slutty ho bag
JENNY
stop calling me a ho bag, i am not a ho bag
MIKE
i noticed you didn't defend the slutty part
JENNY
stopit stopit stopit stopit stopit
MIKE
no, i won't, you stopit
JENNY
no, you started it, you little...
TEACH
stopit dammit, you pigs, all of you stopit now or i will blow every one of your goddamn heads off you damn faggots
MIKE
and what's wrong with being a faggot?
JENNY
mike! i never knew...
MIKE
and you never will, you freak
JENNY
he did it again, he called me a freak
PHIL
stopit stopit stopit
TEACH
(choking Jenny) i'll kill you you little bitch i'll kill you i'll kill you i'll kill you all!
JENNY
dammit stopit...................................
(ALL freeze except JEFF)
JEFF (V.O.)
wow... look at those tiles... four corners... four sides... i wonder what it looks like underneath 'em... probably pretty cool....