G R O U P

SCENE 1

_CAST_

Jeff

Mark

Stewart

Cindy

Jan

(int. - group therapy office.)

JEFF

hi, my name is jeff and i'm addicted to solitaire

ALL (except JEFF)

HI JEFF

JEFF

it all started, i guess, with my friends. i guess. they taught me how to play, and it seemed like a cool game, but i mean that was it, ya know? then i broke my leg playing football and i couldn't go outside to do much really, so i ended up staying inside and playing solitaire all day and night and it was great.

MARK

get to the point, man!

CINDY

shut up, mark

JEFF

well, uh... anyway, then i healed and was able to go and play football again and stuff but i didn't want to, ya know? i liked playing solitaire and my friends saw this and got really pissed and they wouldn't stay around me anymore and they kept bugging me and i don't care that they aren't around me but now i miss them and i'm just now starting to realize that i have a problem and stuff... can you guys help me?

STEWART

help yourself, man, that's the first step.

JAN

well, jeff, it certainly is interesting, but you came to the right place. first of all, we can't do anything for you unless you want to be helped. you have to want the change, jeff, do you want the change?

JEFF

if i didn't would i be here?

JAN

i guess not, jeff

CINDY

what are you laughing at stewart? shut up

STEWART

why don't you, you skank

JAN

stop that, you two, now

MARK

jeff, cindy likes you

CINDY

i do not you freak, stopit, jan tell him to stopit

JAN

stopit mark

JEFF

what the heck...?

JAN

now jeff, if you really want the change we can help you... but if you don't...

JEFF

i just told you i did, didn't i? geez...

JAN

you don't need to yell jeff, there's no need for that here. everyone will get a chance to voice their opinions.

MARK

well, here's my turn... i think you all are a bunch of freaks! who ever heard of game addictions anyway... it is sooooo stupid!

CINDY

shuttup mark, it's not your turn, you freak

MARK

stop calling me a freak

CINDY

no you started it, you freak

MARK

stop calling me a freak, freak

CINDY

jan, he just called me a freak

STEWART

oh both of you stopit

MARK

shut the hell up stewart, nobody asked you

JAN

stewart is right, you both don't need to argue, if we'll just be calm and talk like civilized people...

MARK

fuck you!

JAN

mark!

CINDY

see jan i told you he was a freak

MARK

i am not!

STEWART

will you both shuttup!

MARK

no, you shuttup you freak

STEWART

no, i don't feel like it cause I don't think you have the right...

MARK

you are a freak and i don't give a shit about you or anyone, dammit

CINDY

that's because you are a freak

MARK

i am not, quit callng me a freak

STEWART

you are you are you are

MARK

no, i am not!

STEWART

you are

MARK

nuh uh, you are

CINDY

stopit you asshole

MARK

quit calling me stuff you bitch

CINDY

dammit you are dead meat boy (hits Stewart repeatedly)

JAN

stopit both of you

STEWART

get your face out of this you wench from hell - ow, stop hitting me you freak

CINDY

dammit stop calling me a .............................

(ALL freeze except JEFF)

JEFF (V.O.)

wow... look at all them holes in that ceiling... i bet there's a lot of them... one, two, three, four....